10 Simple Things I do that help me connect with my wife and kids.
A lot of us men want to connect more with our wives and children.
But many of us don't know how.
We think connection must be one big vacation.
Or expensive gifts.
Or one deep motivational speech.
Sometimes, connection is just small things done consistently.
Over the years, I have learned a few simple things from mentors and older men around me.
These are 10 simple things I do that have helped me connect more deeply with my wife and children.
1. We read together.
I read books personally.
But I also read with my family.
Sometimes I buy books and my wife and I read them together.
I also read with my children.
We learn together.
We ask questions together.
We laugh together.
Reading together has created many conversations in our home.
2. Movie night.
Every Friday, we do movie night.
Whether I am around or not, the culture continues.
The movie selection rotates.
If I choose this week, my wife chooses next week.
Then my daughter.
Then my son.
Simple thing.
But it gives everybody a voice.
3. Date night with my wife.
Once a week, as long as I am in town, I try to spend intentional time with my wife.
Nothing serious.
Sometimes it is just food.
Sometimes we drive around.
Sometimes we just gist.
Yes, sometimes I miss it.
But the culture matters.
4. I attend my children’s school events.
As long as I am in town, I try my best to show up.
I remember one sports event.
I flew from Lagos to Port Harcourt just to attend it.
Then flew back again.
Very stressful.
Very inconvenient.
But children remember presence.
5. Bank of Daddy.
My children get small allowances.
They each have exercise books where we record their money.
If uncle or aunty gives them money, they can “save” it in Bank of Daddy.
It is helping them learn money, saving, patience, and responsibility early.
6. Family meetings.
Before movie night every Friday, we have a simple family meeting.
Everybody shares:
- Something they are grateful for
- Something they are struggling with
- Or something they need help with
It starts with my daughter.
Then my son.
Then my wife.
Then me.
Sometimes even visitors staying with us join.
This one thing has opened many deep conversations in our home.
7. We go shopping together.
Not always.
But at least once a month.
We carry the children along when buying things for the house.
I want them to know the price of things.
I don’t want them growing up thinking life is magic.
Children should understand value.
8. Karate with my children.
My children currently do karate.
Sometimes when I drop them off, I stay back.
Sometimes I pick them up myself.
I listen to what the sensei teaches them.
Then when we get home, we practice together.
I used to do karate a little, so it helps.
I have noticed massive improvement in them because we practice at home together.
9. Weekly planning meetings with my wife.
Not perfectly every week.
But most weeks, we sit down and plan the coming week.
I share my goals.
She shares hers.
We discuss schedules.
Children.
Work.
Travel.
Responsibilities.
It helps us move as partners instead of roommates.
10. No TV until weekends.
My children don’t watch TV until Friday movie night and Saturday.
And honestly, this has helped us a lot.
Because when children are bored…
they look for connection.
They ask questions.
They play.
They disturb you.
They talk.
Sometimes my daughter comes to play chess.
Sometimes my son comes asking random questions.
Sometimes they enter my office while I’m teaching.
And those small interruptions create conversations.
I am still learning as a man.
I am not a perfect husband or father.
But I have realized something:
Strong families are not built only with money.
They are built with presence.
With culture.
With small repeated moments.
So I decided to share this for other men like me.
Men trying.
Men learning.
Men growing.
If you are a man, what simple things do you do that helps you connect with your wife and children?
Ladies, what are simple things your husband, father, or brothers do that helped you feel connected to them?
Let’s learn from each other.
A lot of us men want to connect more with our wives and children.
But many of us don't know how.
We think connection must be one big vacation.
Or expensive gifts.
Or one deep motivational speech.
Sometimes, connection is just small things done consistently.
Over the years, I have learned a few simple things from mentors and older men around me.
These are 10 simple things I do that have helped me connect more deeply with my wife and children.
1. We read together.
I read books personally.
But I also read with my family.
Sometimes I buy books and my wife and I read them together.
I also read with my children.
We learn together.
We ask questions together.
We laugh together.
Reading together has created many conversations in our home.
2. Movie night.
Every Friday, we do movie night.
Whether I am around or not, the culture continues.
The movie selection rotates.
If I choose this week, my wife chooses next week.
Then my daughter.
Then my son.
Simple thing.
But it gives everybody a voice.
3. Date night with my wife.
Once a week, as long as I am in town, I try to spend intentional time with my wife.
Nothing serious.
Sometimes it is just food.
Sometimes we drive around.
Sometimes we just gist.
Yes, sometimes I miss it.
But the culture matters.
4. I attend my children’s school events.
As long as I am in town, I try my best to show up.
I remember one sports event.
I flew from Lagos to Port Harcourt just to attend it.
Then flew back again.
Very stressful.
Very inconvenient.
But children remember presence.
5. Bank of Daddy.
My children get small allowances.
They each have exercise books where we record their money.
If uncle or aunty gives them money, they can “save” it in Bank of Daddy.
It is helping them learn money, saving, patience, and responsibility early.
6. Family meetings.
Before movie night every Friday, we have a simple family meeting.
Everybody shares:
- Something they are grateful for
- Something they are struggling with
- Or something they need help with
It starts with my daughter.
Then my son.
Then my wife.
Then me.
Sometimes even visitors staying with us join.
This one thing has opened many deep conversations in our home.
7. We go shopping together.
Not always.
But at least once a month.
We carry the children along when buying things for the house.
I want them to know the price of things.
I don’t want them growing up thinking life is magic.
Children should understand value.
8. Karate with my children.
My children currently do karate.
Sometimes when I drop them off, I stay back.
Sometimes I pick them up myself.
I listen to what the sensei teaches them.
Then when we get home, we practice together.
I used to do karate a little, so it helps.
I have noticed massive improvement in them because we practice at home together.
9. Weekly planning meetings with my wife.
Not perfectly every week.
But most weeks, we sit down and plan the coming week.
I share my goals.
She shares hers.
We discuss schedules.
Children.
Work.
Travel.
Responsibilities.
It helps us move as partners instead of roommates.
10. No TV until weekends.
My children don’t watch TV until Friday movie night and Saturday.
And honestly, this has helped us a lot.
Because when children are bored…
they look for connection.
They ask questions.
They play.
They disturb you.
They talk.
Sometimes my daughter comes to play chess.
Sometimes my son comes asking random questions.
Sometimes they enter my office while I’m teaching.
And those small interruptions create conversations.
I am still learning as a man.
I am not a perfect husband or father.
But I have realized something:
Strong families are not built only with money.
They are built with presence.
With culture.
With small repeated moments.
So I decided to share this for other men like me.
Men trying.
Men learning.
Men growing.
If you are a man, what simple things do you do that helps you connect with your wife and children?
Ladies, what are simple things your husband, father, or brothers do that helped you feel connected to them?
Let’s learn from each other.